Due to generations of autistic people who can mask being expected (if not taught and forced!) to mask, there is a dire lack of visual representation and recognition of autistic adults in the community statistically. As a result, there is a rather magical effect when role models stim.
A similar positive effect has been seen recently in neurodivergent circles, when both Billie Eilish and Louis Capaldi have been transparent about their experience with Tourette’s, and have not removed themselves from public view when tic-ing; the positive impact of this on children, and other adults, with Tourette’s is invaluable.
I was recently in the presence of an apparently neurodivergent teenager, who was leading a large group of children in a sporting activity at a party. I’m entirely unaware whether this particular young man was hyperactive (ADHD) or stimming (Autistic), a combination, or something else entirely, (or he even identifies as neurodivergent!) but he was exceptionally good at his job, and his regular movement was an absolute delight to a number of people in the room. All for different reasons.
(I will referring to this person’s actions as stimming for the purpose of this article, however I do not know if this is an accurate representation of this specific person’s movements).
For Kids
For neurodivergent kids, seeing someone stimming in public is a wonderful experience. It’s like seeing someone wearing a t-shirt for an exclusive club you’re in. Instant solidarity and joy. Seeing someone in a position of respect and/or power, stimming, demonstrates for these kids exactly what neuroaffirming parents are trying to teach them – that they can stim and do everything else. You can stim and be a great learner. You can stim and be a wonderful friend. You can stim and have a great job. You can stim and be responsible, and kind, and loved, and valued, and important.
While many parents can coach our children on this, and give them license to be authentic, it is a difficult lesson to believe and accept when there are so few real life examples to follow. Autistic kids can feel like they are being pushed off a cliff and told it’ll be fine, despite them having never seen another human flying.
For Parents
So of course this makes the neuroaffirming support and lessons easier for parents, as they have clear and specific examples to show their children.
For neurotypical-identifying parents, seeing neurodivergent people stimming in public can be of massive benefit to both them and their children. It is one thing to have psychs and other health professionals being encouraging, and highlighting your child’s strengths and abilities, but living in a society that has spent decades treating autistic people as incapable, broken, and less than, can make it difficult for parents to shift that nagging doubt.
Personally witnessing capable autistic people – with stimming as an identifier – is a beautiful reminder that your child has the potential to achieve great things whilst being autistic. Not despite being autistic. Quite possibly, in all honesty, because they are autistic.
For Self
And then we flip it around and look at it from the perspective of the confidently stimming individual. Because they are authentic, and bravely taking on society’s norms, they are:
- more likely to be physically, emotionally, and mentally healthy.
- better at self-regulating.
- likely to require less, if any, therapies.
- more likely to find like-minded peers – as they’re waving a neurodivergent flag – which means healthier social relationships.
- able to take on employment without feeling the need to behave neurotypically, therefore able to achieve more.
- acting as positive role models for other neurodivergent people, particularly children.
- breaking society’s neuronormative norms, and paving a healthier life for autistic people in the future.
And, I really hope, they are also incredibly proud. I am so grateful for authentically neurodivergent people, as I know many other neurodivergent people and parents of neurodivergent people are. It’s not always an easy thing to do, and sometimes the cost feels greater than the reward.
There is a great sense of altruism in this bravery. You are amazing.