DISCLAIMER: I am a strong advocate for identity-first neuroaffirming language, however I have received conflicting responses as to whether this is a preferred option for the Tourette’s community. As such, I am following the advice of the majority – and those who appear to have the most informed opinion – and using person-first language throughout this article. Should this be inappropriate, incorrect, and/or offensive, please do not hesitate to let me know; and to confirm the correct terminology for identity-first language regarding Tourette’s. I am here to be educated. Thank you! – Jen
Lewis Capaldi began singing when he was 4, playing guitar when he was 9, and was snuck in to perform in bars before he was legally allowed to do so. He began performing for a broader audience when he was 18. At the age of 22, released an incredibly successful debut album.
For the following few years, he performed more and more concerts, to larger and larger audiences. He was the first artist to sell out an arena tour before the release of the related album. Shows selling out within a second of tickets being released.
Once the COVID-19 pandemic subsided and large scale events once again became common and frequent, many expected Capaldi to similarly increase his performance schedule. Instead he postponed shows and worked on a new album.
He returned to performing in mid-2022.
Reports of “unusual behaviour” and tics on stage lead to rumours of drug use, and mental health concerns. In September 2022, Lewis Capaldi shared with the world that he was, in fact, neurodivergent. Lewis Capaldi has Tourette’s.
For a further 9 months he continued to perform, with tics more noticeable and increasingly impacting on his ability to sing and perform.
Tourette’s tics often increase with strong emotions, particularly stress and anxiety. And definitely with exhaustion.
In June 2023, he announced he would be taking a break from touring for the “foreseeable future” to “spend much more time getting my mental and physical health in order”. Lewis had already given himself a 3 week break in the lead up to his recent performance. He realised it was not enough to allow him to thrive.
This is the role model all neurodivergent people need.
Doing it Anyway
When your neurodivergence provides a notable difference – tics, stimming, needing ear defenders, using an AAC device instead of speaking, etc – it requires significant bravery to present yourself to the world. To show up. Be authentic. To be confident and proud. For many people, the looks, judgement, and comments, that can accompany this is too taxing. They choose not to put themselves in that situation. And not only do they, as a result, miss out on many of the opportunities the world has to offer; the world misses out on them.
Because Lewis Capaldi chose to be brave (or stubborn, or determined, or one of many other things that many have driven him) the world got to receive his music, and hear his amazing voice. And Lewis received endless love and adoration, not to mention a few dollars to go along with it.
What Lewis may not realise is the greater impact these actions have had on the neurodivergent community. This visibility, accompanied by acceptance and support, showed people who might otherwise shy away from potential achievements that they can do it anyway. Worried to put yourself somewhere people might see your quirks? Do it anyway. Concerned you mightn’t be as good as people say you are, because you fear neurodivergence could hold you back? Do it anyway.
And what if the tougher parts of my neurodivergent experience win sometimes? Well, this is where what seem to some to be quitting is actually winning…
Self-Care is Not just Bubblebaths
Neurodivergent people need to rest, to the degree that is increasingly recommended that they schedule genuine rest into their lives the same way they should schedule meals, showering, and exercise. (Admittedly, many neurodivergent people find those things difficult to appropriately fit into their lives too; but that doesn’t mean we don’t know we should.)
While it is recognised that for many, rest is a privilege and difficult to attain, there are studies that indicate that neurodivergent people require more sleep than their neurotypical peers anyway (often due to poorer quality sleep at night). Furthermore, functioning in a neuronormative society is additionally exhausting for neurodivergent people. Trying to hold in the stims. Masking the emotional responses. Hiding the tics. Thinking carefully about each word before pronouncing it. Staying still when listening. The list goes on and on.
We need rest.
And we deserve rest.
Just as an asthmatic deserves medication, or a person with a broken leg deserves a chair, neurodivergent people deserve rest so that they can be at their best. Be their happiest. Thrive.
But trying to take that rest, other than rarely taking half an hour for a bubble bath, or going to bed 20 minutes early to read, or lying on the sofa for an evening binge watching a TV show? It feels greedy, and lazy, and judged.
What Lewis Capaldi has given to the neurodivergent community by announcing this indefinite break is amazing. He has set the example for neurodivergent people that it is okay to take the time you need to feel stronger. And, possibly more importantly, he has shown the rest of the world that a) taking a break is an appropriate, healthy, and intelligent decision, and b) that the more difficult aspects of neurodivergence will only continue to worsen if that break is not taken.
Don’t put your cover up
Lewis Capaldi, “Haven’t you ever been in love before?”
You know it’s bad for your health
And when the going’s tough
You’re way too hard on yourself
How Can I Help?
Not everyone has the luxury of taking that break. People who work long hours, or multiple jobs. Parents and primary carers. Friends whose peers expect continual contact or constant socialising.
And for those who might have more opportunity, it is not easy to fight years of conditioning to feel that we are worthy of stopping.
As a parent of a neurodivergent child, schedule rest for your child. Even if they love extracurricular activities or constant activity, ensure there are blocks of time for them to just… exist. Not all neurodivergent child will be able to rest unaided. Some will need company; planned resting activities such as books, puzzles or screen time; or supported rest such as building a cushion fort to lie in.
If your neurodivergent person is a little older, talk to them about it. Teach them how important it is that they give their body and brain rests. Explain how sleep isn’t giving them the rejuvenation the need, and that they need to get it elsewhere. Show them the Spoon Theory and explain that some believe that rest and/or sleep is the only way to “buy more spoons”. Tell them that is not only okay for them to take time out, it’s smart.
If your neurodivergent person is older still – a friend, a spouse, or even yourself – give them the break. Give them permission to rest. Ask what they want, and facilitate it. Tell them they’re off duty for parenting. Encourage them to take a week of annual leave, or sick leave if they’re already struggling, from work. Book a weekend away with no plans.
And whatever their age, tell them about Lewis Capaldi. Show them that he’s achieved some of the greatest goals in his field with an exhausting visible neurodivergence. Let them see that he was brave and kept working even when his Tourette’s became noticeable, and even occasionally a problem. And focus on the amazing example he has set by taking a break.
And watch, patiently, with kindness and love, for the day Lewis Capaldi comes back. Happier, healthier, still neurodivergent, successful. Amazing.